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Blog: Dancing in the Kitchen

Updated: Dec 8, 2021

This is a bit about my life story...(excerpt from the book that is being written:))

After my son Jakob was born in 2003 (my daughter Anna was born in 2001) - I went through two seperations within 5 years -I started my life as single mom. Working at the rehabcenter and taking care of two wonderfully active children brought me to the edges of my capacities and I had a burnout and a back injury within two years. I was 35 and wasn’t sure how I would manage, but I slowly got back on my feet with the help of Aryuvedic medicine, Somatics, Bodywork, and psychotherapy.

In addition to these challenges, I didn’t dance during these 5 years. I had officially announced that I had quit my career as a professional dancer when I came back to Vienna, after receiving harsh refusal from official funding agencies in Vienna, even though I had worked as a professional dancer and choreographer for 10 years. The physical toll of 2 pregnancies, births and nursing two babies was intense and so my body just collapsed and it took all focus to recover. The sting of not having my artistic work recognized in my home country added to that. Life became about single motherhood and work as a dance therapist.

I was lucky to have had supportive parents at the time and to have found a place to live within a community of openminded people. But even after I recovered from my burnout I wasn’t happy. Something was still missing and that was dancing. Looking back at it, I am glad I stopped working as a professional dancer. It was so healing, so necessary to totally let go of my identity as a dancer. during this time. My internal image of myself was that of a professional dancer since I was 15, that’s what I was best at, that’s what brought the most joy, but it also took all attention, so I didn't know that I could be a normal person as well. Becoming a mother shifted my focus, made me one of many, gave me the most mundane and the most important job a person can do. The time off also allowed my body to let go of the intense physical training I had had, repatterning by disengaging and healing some of my chronic injuries.

So one day in 2006, while I was cooking, I listened to the first album Kate Bush released after 12 years (and had become a mother herself). Kate Bush’s music has always been a huge inspiration for me. When I was 15 (same time I started my dance training and my dance identity was formed), I discovered her albums and her intensly expressive music, both subtle and powerful. In the kitchen while stirring my vegetable curry 20 years later, I started dancing again. Right then I decided to dedicate my dancing to healing.

There in the kitchen, I made a vow to myself, that from now on to only work in healthy, nourishing environments, which meant I would have to create most of these environments myself. I wanted to create spaces, where I and others would feel safe to learn, create, express and move. I wanted to make sure I was not exploited and I wouldn’t exploit others. And I wanted, that diverse groups of participants had access to the trainings and workshops. I realized, that if I wanted to create some sort of change in this world, I best do it through dance.

This was the start of holistic dance and movementpedagogy in 2006. I combined the knowledge that I had from dance as an art form with the experiences I had in the rehabilitation center. And through bodywork. I was lucky to be invited to international contact improvisation festivals soon after, so I could experiment both in open workshops in Vienna and in international settings. In 2010 the Holistic Dance Institute was founded and I am very glad that I found my love for dance again and could share it with so people for many years. Thanks Kate for the vegetable curry....

"From the Underside of my Belly" a solo I created and performed in New York, Berlin and Vienna between 1997 -2000...

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