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Letting Go

The principle of "no attachment" is at the core of most spiritual traditions. According to tibetan buddhist teachings, the main reason why we reincarnate as human beings is to learn and grow through desire. And therefore the principle of "no attachment" is the hardest one for us, because it implies that everything we desire, we also have to let go off at one point, if at lastly at the moment of death. Learning how to gracefully let go of what we love, cherish, appreciate and value in our lives is just as important as acquiring, achieving, aiming for it. This doesn't mean that we can't feel the pain, can't feel the grieve, the loss of whatever has to go: a loved one, a life phase, even an idea or a project. We are deeply human, and the buddhist teachings don't tell us to ignore that, but rather to move through it.


So after 7 years of spending professional and personal time in my Jurte I let go of her last week. It wasn't my choice, but I made a choice to not struggle anymore and find another path.

When I set up the Jurte it was legally considered a tent, then the law changed and now it's a building and that made it complicated. After many years of struggling with the town council I have decided to make my choice of not fighting anymore. I sold it the day I decided to let go of it to very nice people for a good price.


As I am very human I had have a whole set of emotions running through me, from relieve (finding a buyer right away and finally getting this issue off my back), anger (towards the authorities), to deep grief (for this was my refuge place in nature and my healing work space). I recognize that of course it mirrors my core issue in my life and work: finding safe containers in and outside of myself, living and working in connection to nature and creating organic structures for myself and others. These core issues will stay with me and the outer structure of the Jurte has manifested inside myself. Like a physical, outer witness in Authentic Movement gives us a model to develop an inner witness, my Jurte was an outer model for an internal sacred space.


In all of this I cry for a lot of different reasons. After more than 20 years of dedicating my life to raising my children to the best of my abilities and under difficult circumstances, they are ready to leave the house. And I am very happy for them and immensely proud of them. One has already moved out and the other one will probably move soon. So this is a major transition as well for me. I also cry because there is so much to cry about: the horrific war in the Ukraine, the suffering of so many beings and the destruction of the earth. Yes there are 6 planets in retrograde as we speak, so as well a good time to reflect and dive deep into the emotional body.


Michael Meade says: "We cannot escape our complexes, we have to live through them."* And he also says:" The wound becomes the womb for healing." So like the saying: we cannot control what happens to us, but we can control how we react to it, here I am letting go, surrendering into the grand plan of something to come. It's a physical, somatic experience of yielding, my body knows how to do this, but I have to admit, that I am not super great at it emotionally. I hold on to what I love. I am a mother lion to my children, my work, my loved ones and to my belongings. And so I practice and breath and move through.


Dear Jurte after 7 years I say goodbye. Grieving and in acceptance at the same time, I am letting go of your magical, feminine power. I am truly grateful to what was possible for the time while it lasted and all the things that you held: countless bodywork-,authentic movement- and supervision session, office times on my computer and online courses, buddhist meditation practice, shamanic rituals, readings and performances, planning sessions for a cohousing project, many young adult hang-out-times, Christmas-, New Year- and birthday celebrations, and not the least of it all intimate personal times. I thank you for experiencing myself in nature protected and contained, held and safe. I recognize that you my Jurte symbolize my sacred inner container, my breath, my permeability, my organic relating to Self, Other and Earth. I shall internalize your quality and listen to what comes next. I thank Alexandr Spread from www.yourtent.com for this exquisite structure and service your provide and all of you who have appreciated, loved and participated in the events in the Jurte.





*Complexes, according to C.G. Jung, are the set of memories, associations, expectations and behavior patterns collected into an unconscious structure which show up in strong emotional responses.


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